Wednesday, December 28, 2011 at 4:33AM Jim’s mom shares our warped humor, there’s no doubt about that!
;)
If you knew Jim well, you’d know that this had to have been made especially for him! I about fell down laughing when we opened this! Priceless!
Then the two coasters…
;)
Now which one of those do you suppose is meant for me? LOL (hint… Jim is a night owl).
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 5:06AM On a Sears hairdryer —
Do not use while sleeping.
(That’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos — You could be a winner!
No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap — “Directions: Use like regular soap.”
(and that would be???….)
On some Swanson frozen dinners —
“Serving suggestion: Defrost.”
(but, it’s just a suggestion.)
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) —
“Do not turn upside down.”
(well…duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding — “Product will be hot after heating.”
(…and you thought????…)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron —
“Do not iron clothes on body.”
(but wouldn’t this save me time?)
On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine —
“Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.”
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid —
“Warning: May cause drowsiness.”
(..I’m taking this because???….)
On most brands of Christmas lights —
“For indoor or outdoor use only.”
(as opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor —
“Not to be used for the other use.”
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury’s peanuts — “Warning: contains nuts.”
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts — “Instructions:
Open packet, eat nuts.”
(Say what?)
On a child’s Superman costume—
“Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”
(I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw —
“Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.”
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Wednesday, June 23, 2010 at 6:37PM So I went to the podiatrist today. After a day spent at the longarm, I can barely walk. I decided it was time. The nice doctor X-rayed my foot, and said, “you have a heel spur, and an aroma”.
Huh?
He went on to explain the treatment (part of which included a rather painful cortisone shot in the heel!), but I had to ask him again… “I have a heel spur and what”?
“An aroma” he says.
I’m feeling pretty embarrassed about that time. I asked him, “what do you mean I have an aroma”?
He looks up, laughs, and says… “not an aroma, a neuroma!”
Good grief. It’s nice to know my feet don’t smell anyway.
